And all these little things in life they all create this hazeThere was Sir Bob's We Are The World, which I didn't even realize was on my phone. My anthem came up, New Model Army's Before I Get Old
There’s too many things to get done, and I’m running out of days
You can blow out a candleI had to think then. To many people that I know now, Steve Biko is just a part of history, if they've ever heard of him. He was more than that to me when I was a teenager.
But you can't blow out a fire
Once the flames begin to catch
The wind will blow it higher
That was a long time ago. I've become tired & cynical. All of my edginess, if any is left, is in the areas of play & personal interaction. All the people I know now are "safe". Even the burners aren't what I'd call radical, though I admire their skills. I used to hang out with bikies, gang members, radicals, anarchists, criminals (the lines blur all the time in those groups). I used to bump fists with convicted murderers. Not that I want to do it again, but I used to haul body bags from helicopters. I used to fly round the country as part of an aerobatic team. Now possibly the most edgy thing in my life is having friends who are sex workers.
In many ways this is a good thing. I'm probably not physically capable of leaping from a 25ft roof, rolling, and coming up into a run without pause anymore. I probably can't take down heavier and stronger men with speed, skill & ruthlessness anymore. I'm out of practice, lazy, and unfit. It's good I am in a safe environment because I probably couldn't handle an unsafe one anymore.
But it does leave me feeling that there's something missing and I should be doing something about it. The first step though must be to deal with that lack of fitness. If only to better survive the coming zombie apocalypse.
Funny really, one of the reasons I did what I did around combat training when younger was that I fully expected there to be a nuclear holocaust, primarily affecting the Northern hemisphere, and I did what I could to be "ready" to survive it. Now it's zombies.